It’s Oh So Quiet – Sleep on a Narrow Boat

It’s oh so quiet
Shh shh
It’s oh so still
Shh shh
You’re all alone
Shh shh
And so peaceful until
A sassy duck opens it’s bill
Zing boom
I talk regularly about the peace and tranquility of Narrow Living, the stunning scenery and the incredible wildlife you encounter. Well today I take it all back, Narrow Living is peaceful, drifting off to sleep is quite honestly a breeze and silence is a regular occurrence. We are very lucky, however this silence does mean that even the slightest noise can have you wide eyed, fully awake from your peaceful slumber. So here we have it the top 5 worst ways to be woken up on a boat.
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FIVE (Yes we are doing this in a top of the pops countdown style) – Your Fire. So you’re feeling super proud of yourself, you’ve created the hottest fire of your dreams, the boat is toasty, you’re feeling drowsy, off to bed you head. Only the minute you find yourself there you notice the guggling of the back boiler, appreciating the warm water you have created for it, or the crackling of the fire. Whilst proud and toasty be ready for it to take a little longer to fall to sleep in the night.
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FOUR Noisy Towpath – Tying your home up to the side of a towpath brings a certain amount of worry, will I wake up where I went to sleep, or will some tyrant have loosened off our mooring ropes? Will someone leave a lock open and we wake up as the blood rushes to our heads? Everything from the drunken wanders or scallywags, to the sound of any bumps and bangs, it’s your home and your love, it brings with it worry.
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PRETTY SURE IT DIDN’T LOOK LIKE THIS WHEN WE WENT TO BED!
THREE Fish – Particularly of the randy variety, it seems when it comes to loving, fish get noisy, foreplay seems to be a game of who can hit the underside of your boat the hardest. All the more terrifying at 0100am.
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OOOOPS SORRY DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE
TWO Drip Drop – Once you’re on water you develop a constant fear that your boat could in fact sink, taking with it everything you love. Hearing any kind of drip drop in the night makes your blood run cold, you instantly sit up in bed, turning all the lights on trying to find said drip, which of course you’ll never locate. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago, it took me 45 minutes to realise the dog had gotten too warm curled up next to me and what I could in fact hear was her heart pumping! Alongside this is the noise of the rain and wind, magical for the first 5 minutes, by the second hour it’s a tad strained.
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DID YOU HEAR THAT? WHAT WAS THAT?
ONE Duck – Now we get on to what spurred me to pen this blog. Never before has this happened, never before have I been woken by the this. But a couple of nights ago we were woken by a chatty duck, he was quacking away to himself for around 30 exhausting minutes, seemingly directly below our bedroom porthole! Argh!
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THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR THIS GUY, OTHER THAN PANCAKES AND PLUM SAUCE!
James & Kirsty

 

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